I SOLD MY V
( His royal Excellency)
✍️ Twenty- One✍️
“You never let me take you anywhere” Were in the car going somewhere. John wouldn’t tell me. He begged me to get out the house and that’s what I’m doing, but I won’t have fun cause I’m not in the mood.
“I don’t like going out” I said.
“Yea you do, you’ve just been locked up in that house so long you don’t know what going out is like anymore”
Dang. John is kind of right.
“Besides we used to go out all the time before he took you from me”
“We stayed inside though”
“…and went to breakfast and lunch and dinner and ran errands and just spent the day together being happy”
I played with my hands. “Yea we did. Good times” I said slowly. My heart dropped all of the sudden. I saw a man in a car that looked a lot like Joshua. But he was with a woman and there were kids in the car. That couldn’t have been him.
“I wish you would’ve looked a bit better”
I had my hair in the same messy bun at the top of my head. My same leggings from yesterday and my same jacket. I didn’t wash my face I didn’t brush my teeth. I just put on my shoes and walked out the door. “I’ll look better when I feel better” I sighed.
“You just need gum”
We pulled into a parking spot at Walmart and got out the car. John grabbed a cart as we walked inside.
“I’m gonna make dinner” John started talking. He went on and on about something I wasn’t interested in and then he stopped talking when he realized I wasn’t listening. We passed the ice cream aisle and I remembered the conversation with Joshua. How he loves chocolate ice cream. I hate ice cream now, it makes me sick. It makes me realize that I’m a whore and whores don’t get delicious cookies and cream ice cream.
“Stop staring at the ice cream” John said.
I slowly looked up at him. “Sorry” I moved overt him and rested my head on his shoulder. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Yea” he kissed my forehead and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
We walked to the cash register and I grabbed a pack of watermelon gum and opened it throwing a piece in my mouth before handing it to the cashier.
“There not my teeth are clean” I smiled at John.
“Sadly that’s not how it works” he scrunched up his noise. I rolled my eyes and put the bags of food in the cart. John payed and we made our way back to the car.
“Are we going home now?” I said.
“Good” I just want to sleep and not be awake.
“I know you wanna be alone but I think you need to be distracted”
I felt tears coming on. I looked around for a bathroom and told him I’d be right back. I moved around lots of people with their children and their carts full of food.
“I’m sorry” I said as I bumped into someone I didn’t see. I looked at their face and it was Joshua. At first I didn’t realize it was but then he grabbed my hand. My heart dropped to my stomach. I didn’t want him to let me go, i wanted to forgive him and go home with him.
“Valentina, I need you to listen to me” he said.
I pulled away from him and continued my journey to the bathroom.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me into a corner beside the restrooms. “Stop it!” I said through clenched teeth.
“I already heard everything you had to say”
“No baby I didn’t mean what I said”
“What did you mean then?” I sobbed. I tried to wipe my tears but they kept coming. “I’m a whore, remember”
“No” he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Did you receive the things I got you, Nate said he gave them to you-”
“I didn’t open them. I don’t want them, I don’t want nothing from you. In fact, I’ll be by sometime this week to get the rest of my things”
“Why?!” He got loud.
“I…” I stopped. Hesitation at its best. What if i say something I’ll regret. What if I try to move on but can’t. I need to put my foot down. I need to tell him… I don’t want to be with him. But then I’d be lying. “I have to go” I said and began to walk away.
“Valentina, I need you” he rested his eyes on mine. I felt my heart slow down. “I’m miserable without you”
I took time to notice his features. He looks sad. His eyes are red and his hair is a mess. He has on jeans and a black sweatshirt. Not his normal everyday wear. He has bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept. Nate said he hasn’t.
“Joshua” I said slowly. “I wanna go with you”
He smiled slightly and raised his eye brows in hope. “But I can’t… you hurt me” he changed his face back to the same sad look. “I have to go” I reached up and touched his cheek.
I didn’t look back as I walked away. I just headed outside toward Johns car.