We hardly said a word to each other during our trip back home.
Brad was on the phone most of the time.
Things shouldn’t have changed between us…..if we had remained hostile towards each other then I wouldn’t have ended up being heartbroken.
I had tried to fight this attraction.
I had known that once he was inside me, I’d never be the same again.
Deep down,when I think about the moments we shared,I don’t regret anything.
I don’t regret giving myself to him.
It was nice to know that at some point,he loved me.
It was nice to know that at some point,I was his.
When we arrived at Chicago,two cars were waiting for us.
Still without saying anything,he got into one of the cars and drove off.
“Ma’am”I turned around to see a man stretching his hand to take my luggage.
I figured he was the one taking me home.
“Thank you”I choked out giving my luggage to him.
Ruefully, I walked into my apartment.
I slowly looked around and it finally dawned on me how lonely I am.
How lonely I am going to be.
I’m back to my old boring life of no friends….just an apartment with the TV as company.
I slowly sat on the floor.
*I want us….. I want this to work…. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. I adore you,Megan… I love you*
And before I can stop myself, I’m crying again.
Feeling bittered, miserable and lonely at the same time.
Was it too much to ask to just want to be with Braden Cromwell?
I needed a distraction.
I didn’t want to go home and sulk over that slut so I went to my company.
“Yo,Brad.It’s great to have you back!”Noah exclaimed on seeing me.
He curled his fingers expecting a fist pump but I walked passed him to my office.
“What’s with the attitude? Did we lost William’s partnership?”He asked, trailing after me.
“No.He’s flying down to Chicago next week to have an insight on our new project”I replied sanking down on a swivel chair.
“That’s great news,man.We should be over the moon with joy instead you’re looking as if a close relative of yours just died”He teased.
“I’m good,Noah.I’m just not in a good mood”
“What happened?Was Megan that terrible to you? I thought you guys might look for a way to get along…..”
“We did but she cheated on me”
Noah’s jaw dropped.”What the f*ck is wrong with you? You guys were not even in a real relationship.If she found someone else,it shouldn’t be your…..”
“It is a real relationship….I mean it was.We agreed to see how far we could go together in this relationship thing.For the first time in my life,I didn’t just see a woman I wanted to f*ck,I saw a woman whom I wanted to impress, whose laughter was music to my ears……whom waking up next to was priceless… I just…. I just wanted… I thought she felt the same”
Noah probably realized how serious I am.
He slowly sat on a chair opposite to me.
“You fell in love with her?”He asked,his voice laced with disbelief.
He started laughing.
I glared at him.”What’s so funny?”
“Sorry, it’s just I’ve seen a lot of women cry because of you and you didn’t know how much headaches you were giving them making promises you can’t keep.I guess this is Karma for you.Mr Playboy got his heart broken”
As much as I hate to admit but he’s right.
I’d hurt a lot of women.
All of a sudden, I wish I hadn’t led my life that way.
Now I got someone who made a promise to stay faithful,a promise she couldn’t keep.
Heart break isn’t funny.
“I thought you were great in bed, I mean the women were always coming back for more,what really happened between you two?You weren’t satisfying her well enough?”
I don’t feel comfortable talking about me and Megan’s intimate moments with Noah.
But I think I gave it to her well enough, right?
Even if I was the only man before Landon f*cked her,I still made her beg for more.
Even if Talia had made her upset,she should have called me not him.
“We were good,Noah.Maybe this is a sign,we ain’t meant to be”
“It’s quite funny seeing you all worked up over a woman.If you love her that much,why don’t you forgive her?.This isn’t the first time a lover has been unfaithful and it’s definitely not going to be the last.I know it might be hard considering it’s the first time you ever wanted to get into a proper relationship but you have to try”
Try and forgive her?
She didn’t even look remorseful.
She didn’t even try and tell me that it wouldn’t happen again.
She had said being intimate with me was a mistake.
I’m badly wondering what Talia might’ve said to her to make her despise me all of a sudden.
The next couple of days,I got to find out the restaurant that Megan works in.
As crazy as this is….instead of going home after work…I would sit in my car and watch her.
Watch her walking around and serving customers.
She seem to be growing thinner.
I’m desperate to hold her in my arms again.
Should I really forgive her?
Can I forget that she f*cked that a*shole?
Does she even want to be forgiven?
I had thought I would be the only one who would have a taste of her sweetness.
Maybe I should let this slide.
I have been with a lot of women too.
Perhaps,she wanted to try out another man.
I opened the door of my car.
I should go to her…. I should tell her that I can’t stop thinking about her….I should tell her to make me her number one guy.
‘Why should you get all disturbed because of that woman?You can have any woman you want of much thicker curves.She clearly wants nothing to do with you so don’t sweat it’My consciousness advised.
Pride got the better place of me and I shut my door and drove off.
“If the boss catches you sleeping on duty again,he would definitely fire you”Sophie,one of my colleagues warned after waking me up.
I yawned feeling extremely tired.
Since I got back from Paris, there’s not a single day that I’ve felt energetic.
At first I had thought maybe it was the sour way I had ended our trip.
The morning sickness I get is unbearable.
It keeps getting worse…. it’s as if I’ve turned into a sleeping mess.
I can’t even fight the nusea.
On getting home, I made my favorite food.
I had become picky over food I eat and sometimes craving to eat what I can’t afford.
After I was done in the kitchen,I dished out my meal and stared at it trying to work up some appetite and eat.
I took my fork and started eating.
I have to eat.
Most of my colleagues had asked me if I was suffering from a severe illness because they say I had gotten leaner.
But I’m not sick.
I just had no idea of what the f*ck is wrong with me.
Shakily,I washed my face with water after throwing up what I had eaten that evening.
I slowly laid down to sleep.
I can’t fall sick out of loneliness, right?
It’s the weekend,I probably need some air….to be around people.
I should visit my grandmother.
It’s been long since I saw her anyway.
“MEGAN!”Grandma Patricia exclaimed on seeing me.
I hugged her tightly realizing how much I had missed this woman.
Tears flooded my eyes because she’s the only one who loves me now.
After a while,she released me and led me inside her house.
“I didn’t want to say this outside, honey.Are you sick?”
Why do everyone keep asking me that?
“No, I’m fine….I just…”
I paused on seeing her staring at me, deep in thoughts, then her eyes widened.
“Oh my God!”She exclaimed.
I frowned.”Oh my God what?”
“Is this what you came to tell me,sweetie.You should have been taking care of yourself knowing your condition”She rattled out, excitedly.
Now she’s starting to scare me.
Is this old woman okay?
“C’mon, don’t act as if you don’t know that you’re pregnant.”She announced.
I laughed in disbelief.”I’m not pregnant and you can’t just look at someone and say that ….that shit ain’t funny”
She slowly sat me down.
“I can’t believe you are not aware that you’re pregnant.I can’t wait to meet the father.Though I would have preferred you got married before getting pregnant but that doesn’t matter,I hope he has good plans for you….”
“Stop this,grandma.I told you already, I’m not pregnant.”
“Megan,dear.This things can’t get passed me.Not only because I’m old,I was a midwife in my younger days”
I know that because even when I started leaving with her,she still helped some women during their delivery.
But I can’t be pregnant now.
I just can’t be pregnant for someone who despise me.
With what I’ve told him,he might even think that the child isn’t his.
“Don’t tell me there are no signs…..no morning sickness?no cravings?no nusea?You haven’t been feeling tired lately? Feeling a lot of dizziness?Being picky about the food you once loved?”
It was as if she just said everything that I’ve been feeling and I know it’s highly possible that I might be pregnant because Brad and I hardly used the condoms he bought.
Hell,my first time with him was even skin-to-skin.
My grandmother place her wrinkled hand on my stomach.
“A baby is growing in there”
I swallowed hard still wanting her suspicion to be wrong.