I Hate To Love Him
The first semester was coming to an end, Rose and I have been really busy going to the library daily, but I had decided to take a break today.
We both walked down the side walk , when my phone rang again. “urggghh why does he keep calling me”.
“pick it now” Rose said.
” No I won’t” I argued.
” okay then” she said . We reached the library and I bade her goodbye. I walked home all by myself while I listened to song on my phone using my earpiece.
I saw Rita and my heart skipped, she walked towards me and I clenched fists.
She smirked and walked past me. I fastened my steps until I got home.
I entered my room and took my clothes off. I changed into something clean.As soon as I did that, took out all my dirty clothes and headed to the bathroom.
Just then my phone rang, I rushed to it and saw Danladi on the screen, so I just ignored.
He probably wants to talk to me about Noah, I thought.
It rang like four more times and I decided to pick it.
” look Danladi-”
“Lola come down to the school clinic now” he said from the other end in a shaky voice.
“why… What happened?” I asked.
” Just come… Okay”. He said.
I was about to ask further questions when he cut the call on me.
I took my bag and rushed out.
I felt so unsettled, different thoughts ran through my mind and I became extremely scared……….
As soon as I got to the school clinic I saw Danladi in the waiting room pacing back and forth.
my heart skipped.
I rushed to where he was and i held him. “whats wrong”. I asked, jus then I looked around and I saw Noah.
I heaved a sigh of relief before returning my attention to Danladi.
” its Rose”. he said.
“what?…. what’s wrong with her?”
“she slumped in the library”.
I placed both hands on my head, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. I Sat down on the floor and leaned on the wall.
A nurse walked up to me and told me to get a seat. I quickly stood up and sat next Noah and Danladi followed.
Few minutes later a doctor came out and danladi rushed to him. I just sat down, I was too scared to hear whatever he heard to say.
Danladi hit the wall with his fists and Noah rushed to him. I screamed and ran out of the clinic.I knew something had happened, something really bad. How could this happened, I thought.
Noah left Danladi and ran after me. He pulled me into his chest and I wept bitterly for what felt like eternity…….
Second semester had started and I was still a mess. A very big mess. Things had been so difficult for me, I couldn’t sleep, eat normally or attend lectures.
Rose’s death had been a big blow.
The first exam I ever wrote in the university would have been a disaster, thank God I had Noah. He was the one who helped me most of the time. call it malpractice, I don’t care.
I got to know later that my best friend had died of a sudden adult syndrome, which was caused by an underlying heart condition.
Everything happened so fast and I never even got to tell her good bye. Not even a good bye would have been enough, but at least It would have been something.
We had made a pact when we were younger, to be very successful women no matter the obstacles.
Now she’s gone. she never got the chance to do so many things…., she never got to graduate, she never even got to write her first exams in this university.
Noah had vowed to monitor me, I guess he was too scared I might hurt myself.I sobbed again when all those events flashed through my mind.
Noah pulled me closer when he saw the tears on my face…….
I wiped the tears on her face. I hated seeing her hurt.
The way she cried broke my heart so much, it brought bad memories, ones I never ever want to remember………….
“my dad killed my mum” I blurted. Lola pulled back and looked at me, she was obviously shocked.
I had always made sure I never mentioned anything about her to anyone, but I don’t even know why I told her now, probably because I just felt this was the right time.
she continued staring at me wide-eyed and covered her opened mouth with her palm.
“what?” She finally removed her hands from her mouth.”oh my God. Am so sorry Noah..” she said.
“i was only ten when he killed her, I heard her screams and I knew something was wrong, but I dare not confront my dad, it would’ve been another round of beating for me.
As I walked through the passage in our house, I saw my dad rushed out of the room and went out, he had already strangled her,i later got to why he killed her after his arrest,she found out he was having an affair and he has a child with the woman”.
I could feel my anger.
Lola stared at me. she was mute all through.
” We used to live in portharcourt, I had to relocate…. and that why I live with my grandma”.
“ohhh Noah am so sorry, I can’t believe you went through all this at a tender age”. she hugged me.
“your eyes are puffy… wait… have you been crying?”. Noah asked as he lifted my chin , he tried to examine my face but I pulled back.
” Am fine Noah”. I answered and pushed his hand away.
He took my hand and led me out of the lecture room. “where are we going?”
He ignored me and kept dragging me. I was just not in any mood to hang out . I just wanted to go home , curl on my bed and cry my eyes out.
He suddenly stopped and looked at me “do you still hate me?”.
I furrowed my eyebrows “Uhm …. no.. why would i?” I cocked my eyebrow, He shrugged. “Rita ish”
“that! am so over that, Noah. I just lost a friend, you don’t expect me to keep jumping around”. I replied and looked away. I was lonely but Noah wouldn’t just understand that, he believed I just kept using Rose’s death as a means to finally stay away from him.
He smiled and grabbed my hand again, which made me frown.
If only he knew how depressed I was. The pain of losing a friend forever, not been able to wake-up to see her again.
Noah nudged me and I jerked.
I had zoned out.
We both walked into my room. I tossed my bag to a corner and laid on my bed, I shut my eyes for few seconds and opened them again.
” why…are you staring at me?”
“I want us to hang out…. please don’t tell no”
“ughhh wherek? ” I let out a soft groan.
“anywhere you want”.He replied.
He slumped on my bed and i cuddled up with him.
I kissed him for some time before laying back on his chest and drift off to sleep.
later in the evening………
We both walked around the street quietly, Noah glanced at me a few times and finally broke the silence.
” Am I boring?”. He asked.
I glanced back at him. ” what….Uhm….no, why would you say that…..perfect”, I put my phone at my back pocket. He shook his head and frowned, not uttering another word.
I guess he was angry at me.
We had both walked for about fifteen minutes and I had been mute all through. Noah had tried to start a conversation, but I just wasn’t paying attention, I just kept pressing my phone.
I stopped him and looked into his eyes.
” Am sorry… Noah …it’s just…”
“if you are not feeling this… let’s just go home” . He said.
I leaned in and gave him a kiss.
“I know everything is difficult for you right now, but that’s why am here for you”. He reassured me. He moved my braided hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.
I looked at him and he gave me the most genuine smile I have ever seen.
“I think am in love with you”. I muttered. He smiled . “what did you say?”. He grinned at me and I looked away.
“Uhm…..nothing……we should go home”. I suggested and we both walked back to my apartment.